When a child has a disability, every member of the family is affected. Discovering that a new baby or a young child has special needs can be as painful and challenging for grandparents as it is for parents. As a grandparent, you can play a key role in helping a child with special needs.
Common disabilities
The first task is learning about your grandchild's disability. Some of the common conditions that can affect babies and young children are:
Autism. Autism is a range of brain disorders that affect a child's ability to interact with other people. Autism first shows up in children before the age of three. Some children with autism have normal or high intelligence. Others are mentally retarded. Autistic kids may be extremely sensitive to sound or touch. They may also show repetitive behaviors, like flapping their hands or rocking back and forth. Early diagnosis is crucial. Early therapy can help some autistic children to socialize more with others and cope more easily in the world.
Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Between 3 percent and 7 percent of school-aged children have ADHD. This condition can affect both children and adults. Kids with ADHD have problems with attention and impulses. They may be hyperactive, which can cause behavior problems. They may have trouble paying attention, but not be hyperactive; or they may have trouble with both. ADHD has nothing to do with how smart a child is, but it usually affects schoolwork. Medications, adjustments at school (such as extended time for tests) and behavior changes can help many children with ADHD.
Down syndrome. People with Down syndrome are born with an additional chromosome 21. This affects development in a number of ways. Children with Down syndrome have distinct facial features and some degree of mental retardation. In many, however, retardation is mild to moderate. All children with Down syndrome learn to sit up, walk and speak, but they may do so later than other children. Kids and adults with Down syndrome can and do participate fully in many aspects of society.
A grandparent's role
Your support and love are priceless to a grandchild with special needs and to that child's parents. You can help by bonding with and staying close to your grandchild. Let your grandchild know that you love him or her exactly as he or she is. This will also help you become more comfortable with your grandchild's condition, learn about how his or her treatment works and help meet his or her needs at home and in school.
Listening to your grandchild's parents and supporting their treatment decisions are key. So are simple tasks like driving or helping with chores. Daily routines can become overwhelming for the child's family. To care for yourself and learn more about how to help, consider joining a support group for parents and grandparents of children with special needs. Also talk with friends whose grandchildren have disabilities.