No parents want to see their newborn whisked away to be hooked up to life-saving tubes and machines. But many babies need the specialized medical care offered by the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). The NICU is a high-tech nursery. It has special incubators, feeding aids and breathing machines for high-risk babies. Plus, it is staffed around the clock by highly skilled doctors and nurses.
If your baby has to spend time in the NICU, you may be left feeling sad, scared and alone. Chances are you're also still in shock from an early or difficult birth.
Expectations and reality
Many parents don't know what to expect when they first see their baby in the NICU. The hum of machines, fast pace of nurses and doctors and web of tubes covering a tiny baby can be too much to take in at once. It's normal to feel overwhelmed, and it's OK to let your emotions out. Your baby may have setbacks along the way, which can be devastating for parents. The hospital may have a support group for parents so you can connect with others who know what you're going through.
Baby bonding
Spend as much time as you can with your baby. If he or she is stable enough, the nurses can help you hold your baby skin-to-skin. This "kangaroo care" has benefits for both parents and baby. You'll also have to get used to helping care for your newborn with the help of the NICU staff. Ask what you can do to be involved with feedings, baths and diaper changes so you can get to know your baby and her cues better. The nurses can help you if you're nervous. They understand this is new to you, even if you're not a first-time parent.
Many NICU babies can't breast-feed right away. If your newborn is too little or sick to latch on, mom can still pump milk to be given by syringe, bottle or feeding tube. Most hospitals have trained lactation consultants who provide breast pumps and teach new mothers how to pump milk for their babies. Ask to meet with one if you have any questions.
Stay involved
Even if you aren't in the NICU all the time, you'll still probably see your baby more times each day than any of the rotating staff of doctors and nurses. If you have concerns, don't be afraid to bring them up. You should also ask questions if you don't understand how a certain treatment works or why it is being given. Being an informed parent will help you feel like a more active participant in your baby's care.
Finding balance
Of course, you can't spend all your time in the NICU, even though you might want to. It's important to take care of the other aspects of your life, especially if you have other children at home. Many parents try to be at the hospital when doctors make their rounds. If you can't be there in person for an update, have a note added to your baby's chart to call you each time your baby is evaluated. This way, you'll stay up to date on his or her condition.
Don't forget to tend to your own needs, too. Try to stick to a routine so you can make time for exercise, healthy meals and bonding with your partner. Doing so can help you feel more relaxed and focused when it comes time to go back to the NICU and be with your baby.
